Papa Joe’s Christmas Star
Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, saying, Where is He that is born King of the Jews? For we have seen His Star in the east, and are come to worship Him.
…Lo, the Star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young Child was. When they saw the Star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. And when they were come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down, and worshipped Him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto Him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.
Matthew 2:1-2, 2:9-11
During all of my years growing up in a Detroit suburb, and for 50 weeks of each year, a silver four-foot tall Christmas star hung quietly in our garage. During the spring, summer, fall, and most of the winter, it was part of the storage landscape – no more obvious or important than the long since retired basketball backboard, auto fluids, and storm windows.
Handmade by my dad in the 1950s, and fashioned out of wood he no doubt found around the house, all the angles were derived without a protractor and cut without a miter saw, and all ten dovetail joints hand-hewn. Holes for the inset lights (blue Westinghouse C-7 series…much cheaper right after Christmas) were also drilled by hand; parallel wiring – so all the bulbs don’t go out if only one does (long before this was even available commercially) – the final touches of his handiwork.
By today’s Clark Griswold-inspired de rigueur, no one stops in front of the house to admire it. And you won’t find it on YouTube. The 7-watt bulbs don’t pulse to music, it’s dwarfed by the sizes of today’s houses, isn’t inflatable. Once attached to the house, it doesn’t move. But, when I was a kid, nothing fueled excitement like that star’s 200-foot journey from the garage to the roof peak of our small ranch on a corner lot facing a semi-busy street. Always in the final days before December 25.
On Christmas Eve, we’d celebrate the Polish event Wygilia (vuh-GEE-lee-uh) at my Aunt Nettie’s and Uncle Ted’s house in a neighboring town. Tradition called for beginning dinner when the first star in the sky is visible. But the first star we saw that evening, that we paid closest attention to, was atop our home. Stuffed into the family sedan, rounding the corner on the way to Nettie’s, dad would ask us to count the number of burned-out bulbs so he could replace them immediately.
For us kids, Wygilia was the best night of the year. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, all broke opłatek (o-PWA-tek), a thin, tasteless wafer with each other…similar to the unleavened wheat and flour of Holy Communion. One by one, we’d offer a small piece of our bread and take a piece of our family member’s, offering any forgiveness, while sharing good wishes for the year: Usually health, success at school or work, happiness.
My grandmother, Busia, made mushroom borscht featuring dried, smelly fungi shipped from relatives in Europe behind the Iron Curtain, grateful for our hand-me-down clothes and other precious commodities she’d send them. As kids we found the soup too bitter. But adulterated versions of her recipe concocted by my brother Tom and, since his passing, his sons, are exquisite. Pierogi, filled with meat, potato and cheese, and kapusta (kuh-POO-stuh – sour kraut) were part of the rest of the fare, along with Aunt Nettie’s roast beef – a violation of the “no meat” Christmas Eve dinner clause among European-born Catholics, but her special contribution to the meal.
An extra place is set at the dinner table for a “lost visitor” – homage to the Holy Family seeking shelter on Christmas Eve. Afterwards, an uncle or cousin was cajoled into donning the stifling hot Santa suit and mucking it up during the gift exchange.
Midnight mass at St. Robert Bellarmine Catholic Church followed later that night. I was an altar boy, member of the choir and lecturer while in grade school there. Dad was a founding member of the parish and usher. He attended 6:30 a.m. daily mass before going to work at Uniroyal, Tuesday night Novenas to the Blessed Virgin, 40-hour devotions, and every rosary. Faith was the center of his life.
Inevitably, years after I married and moved out, dad’s age and chronic imbalance prevented him from climbing a ladder to decorate his home for the holidays. Which meant no more star. And so he offered it to me. I still don’t know why.
For the most part, I lack the holiday enthusiasm of my siblings. And, unlike his Longines watch, a wedding gift from my mother, I didn’t drop hints for it or argue (privately) with brothers over who deserved it. I can’t even say I wanted the star. Perhaps I happened to be the one visiting him when he decided it was time to give it up. Or maybe I needed it most.
In retrospect, though he never said it, handing over that star must have been like giving up his car keys: The end of his independence. Worse was the inability to share his holiday spirit with the thousands of motorists who passed our house during the last week of December and through the Feast of the Epiphany (visitation of the Magi), January 6. Motorists who, until this day, know the house in which I grew up by that star.
I admit to some apprehension when we hosted Wygilia that year, a few years before dad’s death, and he saw the star hanging on my house for the first time. But, he said it looked “nice” there. And I think he really meant it.
As I began to get the star ready this year, decades of exposure that weakened the star’s structure became apparent. After suffering over whether it was too far gone (and hearing my dad tell me to give it up), my wife and daughters told me plainly: Figure out. And fix it. There’s no way you’re getting rid of that star. I spent hours considering the repairs, finally adding some brackets, surgically-implanting a piece for a completely broken section, repainting the faded, chipped silver paint, and replacing the exposed wiring (a memorable discovery while holding the star and plugging it in) with new C7 lights.
Like the birth of the universe and our solar system’s luminous sphere of plasma, the genesis of dad’s star is a mystery. He hated the commercialism of the holiday. He rarely accepted the gifts we purchased so thoughtfully for him. And, in later years, he attended Wygilia only begrudgingly.
But making and hanging that star may have reminded him of his own father, Jan Mikolajczyk, who died when my dad was only six. Yet, as the oldest boy, Papa Joe assumed paternal duties in the household including five younger siblings.
One of my dad’s few memories of his father, a hearty immigrant whose work in a Pennsylvania coal mine claimed his life, was of the man lighting candles on their Christmas tree in the early 1920s, singing Polish Christmas hymns quietly to himself, then blowing out the candles.
In September 2008, we made the 1,299-mile trip from Michigan to Colorado Springs. Papa Joe’s star was the final item loaded on the moving truck – carefully handled by sturdy men who earlier carried leather couches on their backs. There was no question the star would make the trip. Nor was there debate on whether it would hang proudly on our new house.
I think my dad’s pleased with the love we have for that star – and that my son, Daniel, made me promise the star to him when I’m no longer able to scale a ladder.
I’d also like to think that one of the stars in the beautiful Colorado Springs night sky is my dad – quietly twinkling with joy – at the new home his labor of love helped make for us, and the silent symbol that beckons to remind us of a cold night in Bethlehem, so many years ago.




Thank You for sharing your family’s tradition with me,
Merry Christmas to You All !
Thanks for sharing that story, It was enjoyable to read,May you and your Family have a Blessed Christmas !!!
I miss that star that used to shine on our street while you lived in Redford and I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I read this beautiful memory of how your star came to be and the wonderful tribute to your father. May your family have a very blessed Christmas while continuing the wonderful family traditions begun by your and Rebecca’s families. I miss you guys.
So sweet, Karyn. We love you crazy mad (as Rebecca says). I think fondly of our families’ time together. Wishing you and your beautiful children a Merry Christmas.
Lovely. Merry Christmas to you and yours, my friend!
Much obliged, Sir Robert. Santa has (privately) asked me to ask you to quit ripping on Ron Paul this year.
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!!
Very nice traditions Joe which cement good memories of what is important. Merry Christmas to you Joe!
Indeed, Sharon. So true. My family is my foundation. Same with you, I know.
Thanks Joe – very nice tale
I’ll be over for pierogi and some of the rost beef!
BILLS
We’ll have them waiting for you, Bill!
wonderful story. reminds me of the time i wrote songs for the greatest band of all time.
Was this before you became a “hack?” [This is my son -- and not the *real* Peter Gabriel.]
Merry Christmas to you and your family Joe. And the very best of 2012! Kathy
And to you and yours, Kathy. Thinking of you. Sending you warm wishes…
Thank you, Kathy! Wishing you warm and wonderful holidays, as well. God bless you, dear.
Just like Karyn, I sit here with tears streaming down my face and I didn’t know your father nor had I ever seen that star on your house in Redford. You are so fortunate to have grown up in a house wtih such wonderful traditions and you’re a wonderful dad for keeping those traditions alive. (I actually made a home made batch of angel wings today for the first time and had to explain to my girls how we always had them at Christmas time growing up. They’re not as good as store bought but they’re a bit more meaningful.)
You have a gift, Joe. Your storytelling should be shared by all who have the pleasure of knowing you. My girls’ Busia and Dziadzia are due to arrive for dinner soon and I plan to print this off for them to enjoy.
Merry Christmas to you and your family, Joe. Michigan misses you!!
You’re so kind, Valerie. I love you, girl. Enjoy your holiday with your best gifts — your family.
all i can say is wow… what a great story and a great story teller! thank you for sharing a part of your life that means so much … you made me think of our Christmas eves , when growing up, at my moms oldest sister , aunt helen’s house … it was some of my best memories of our family and Christmas with the relatives. i also cried reading your story , the parts that got to me was the fact that your son wants the star , what a testament to you and your family and their traditions , and that your father gave the star to you … much more than a symbol , some things are meant to be as they say ……………loved reading your story, so glad my brother mark sent it to me …. joe, wishing
a blessed new year to you and your family .
Thank you, Leslie, for the kind words. I’m so glad that it reminded you of warm memories. A blessed new year, too, to you and yours. Again, my sincere thanks for reading this and for sharing your recollections, as well.
Great piece, Joe. You really grabbed the feel and importance of tradition and nostalgia. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thank you, John. Greatly appreciated — esp coming from such an excellent writer! Hope your holidays are warm and festive. And that the little “oinker” gets a lot of mud…or whatever it really wants.
WOW!!! Joe what a talent you have !!! What deep love and sincere feelings are conveyed in your writing. This merits national publishing.
God bless you and all your family.
Jean
Well, HELLO Mrs. Kuras! How are you, dear? How’s Frank? I thank you for reading this, and for sharing your comments. We celebrated Wygilia this year with a bunch of non-Poles. But they seemed to enjoy everything — and even said they were “taking it all in.” I’m so proud to have this tradition — and even more proud that my wife and children are so excited to be a part of it. God bless you and your family as well. We’re hoping that 2012 is a wonderful year for the Kurases — our extended family.
Thank you for sharing this story Joe, of our Polish customs and the star of the “Joseph’s”. It looks wonderful on your house, and I know dad is proud that you decided to update and rework it. We are lucky to have come from a family of wonderful traditions, and my daughter Natalie wrote in my Christmas card, “I will never take them for granted”, Though we weren’t physically together this Christmas Eve, we were together in spirit, and even the distance between us cannot take away the memories we share from all the Christmas’ back to when we were little tykes.
Wishing you all the best in 2012. God Bless!
Andrea
I love you, Andrea. Thank you.